i didn't know it would feel like this.

i am the most out of sorts i have felt in an incredibly long time, though the 80's music makes more of this experience feel normal.  i've been here for four days and it still feels chaotic, i wonder how long it will take for this to adjust itself - or if it will.  perhaps it has and i'm just resisting it.  the only urge that seem to make sense yet is to start nesting around the space, cleaning and organizing and overall sterilization.  i've begun to do this on a small pocket by my desk, creating a small nook for me to reside in and near.  i'm not sure when i became the priss pot who needed order and meticulously clean spaces to function, but this is the characteristic that is rearing its head here.  i'm not myself and i'm on the fence it thats a good or bad thing.  driving here i kept listening to "i wanna be sedated" over and over and elsewhere could not be more opposite to that - so, internally this may be my fight to not give in, but instead give over.  oh the club foot makes me want to wax poetic.